It took me a long time to realise what I wanted to do in my working life. Various career prospects have whizzed around my brain over the course of my adolescence and early adulthood: I may be missing some here but I'm fairly confident that the complete list consists of fashion journalist, theatre director, emergency call handler, police officer, art gallery curator, magazine editor and visual merchandiser. Rather a rogue mix I think you'll agree.
I have an impulsive and obsessive brain, so for each of these options I researched intensely, made vision boards and dedicated my activities to the pursuit of that particular career, but not one lasted more than six months. Nothing felt quite right and I resigned myself to the fact that I would just have to be one of those people who changed their job frequently to maintain that excitement and passion that I wanted to get out of my work.
One day a job advert seen by chance and some gentle persuasion by a wonderful friend led me to consider floristry and suddenly something seemed to slot into place. Not long before seeing the advert I had attended a family funeral and been struck by how intrinsic the floral tributes were to the emotional needs of family members and friends. The flowers provided a beautiful, personal and tangible representation for us to direct our memories and complex feelings towards. Floristry perfectly intertwines my creative self with a love for working with the public which I discovered through ten years of employment in customer service. We're three years in and I'm still just as giddy about floristry as I was at my initial epiphany. That was it - my chosen career has been decided and the path towards my floristry business has got its first few definite footprints.
Now, if we return to my rather incongruous list of possible jobs, the only one I still hold a candle for is journalism. Analysing magazine articles in GCSE English left me with an interest in writing creatively under the non-fiction umbrella. I relished in choosing metaphors to perfectly convey the atmosphere of a painting I was discussing, or selecting the sentence structures that would allow me to best collate and demonstrate my arguments on the current state of the fashion industry.
"We all need an income of joy and contentment"
I mentioned this to my partner recently; how I spent a good portion of my university life writing for various student publications and thoroughly enjoying it. I even look back favourably on writing all of my academic essays, as that process of translating thoughts into intelligible and interesting writing is something that satisfies a specific part of my brain. My partner replied with a question that addressed an issue I didn't even know needed addressing, asking 'what if you do some writing but, hear me out, without trying to monetise it?'
Well that hit me square in the face. It dawned on me instantly that with the exception of floristry which naturally felt appropriate as a business, I have consistently tried to make any other creative practise I engage in into something that I could make money from and not simply for my own enjoyment.
I love drawing and painting and have previously tried (and failed) to sell prints of my work, and recently thought maybe I could sell my works along with my flowers when I eventually get my shop.
I love playing guitar but have avoided it for years because I didn't want to join a band or perform so wouldn't gain any money from it, therefore it didn't seem an effective use of my time.
I love writing but couldn't get paid for writing articles so I thought maybe I could write a floristry book a few years down the line when my career gets more established.
I don't know where this need to monetise my creative life came from - perhaps something to do with the unavoidable nature of capitalism or a determination to show that you can absolutely make enough money from the arts to sustain yourself. I'm so cross with myself for giving in to it and not realising that the level of happiness and calming effect on my mental health that painting, playing, drawing, building, writing, making etc. gave to me is just as valuable as a financial income, if not more. Obviously we all do unfortunately need to make money, but we all need an income of joy and contentment.
So here we are, I've started this blog to give me a space to write about the things I want to write about without constantly checking how many people have seen my posts and then ordered from my website. The blog shares my business' name and sits within my website as an addition to the business, but only because the topics of the blog naturally sit together with floristry; I will be writing about floral things because I love flowers! FERN as a blog is entirely for me and if other people enjoy it then that's wonderful but by no means what I'm aiming for.
Enjoy reading, or don't, I don't care!
(Just kidding I do of course care - what I mean is if you do choose to read I hope you find it at least a little bit enjoyable)
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